In a recent trip to South India, I visited one of Invisible Girl Project’s partners that rescues and cares for unwanted baby girls.  Rather than letting them be killed or trafficked, this home will take girls in, care for them, educate them, and teach them their inherent value…as human beings.  The home has been rescuing and caring for girls for years, raising them, and then providing college educations or trades for them, preparing them for a future. Invisible Girl Project has been supporting them for the past three years.

I always love to visit this place, this home for girls.  It is in the middle of lush Indian countryside, sprawled across 100 acres.  When I enter the front gate, the Director always welcomes me “home.”  I see familiar faces of little girls I met years ago and who remember my name.  I smile as I hear the singing and laughter as over 150 little girls play and get to act like little girls.  It does feel like “home” in so many ways for both my wife and me.

On this trip, I had time to spend with the Director and asked him if he would share some stories with me that I had not heard before in other visits…stories of some of the little girls who had been rescued and whose lives had been changed.  As we sat in his office, he reached into one of his file cabinets and handed me a yellowed piece of paper that had a picture of a baby girl at the top and the name printed in large letters, “Kousalya.”  Her story read as follows:

There was hush-talk of suspicion over a bag left at the gate of the baby home at 5 A.M.  The weather was chill, cooled by the drizzle.  When we went nearby, our hearts almost froze by the sight of the girl baby wrapped in rags and kept inside a nylon handbag.  It was divine providence that the stray dogs did not damage the bag with the human babe inside.  A note inside the bag read, ‘I am too weak and old to rear this child.’ Surely it is a gift of God for us to care for the gift of life of this baby.

Having heard a number of stories over the years about the little girls who had been saved, I had never had the chance to read the story of Kousalya.  In fact, I probably could not pick her out of the crowd of girls that normally swarmed me every time I visited.  No, Kousalya was not a name or a face I knew.  I asked the Director, “Is she here?”  He replied that she was indeed and that she was a little shyer than the other girls, but if I would like to meet her, he would introduce me.

We left his office and strolled the grounds to find her.  Encountering a number of girls who were running and playing, we eventually approached a quiet group of four little girls sitting on the ground.  As they sat reading and doing homework, the Director said, “Kousalya, please come here.”  She stood quickly, obeying.  He then said, “Kousalya, this is Brad uncle.”

She was beautiful, about 11 years old…Full of life and light in her eyes.  I smiled at her and asked, “Kousalya, how long have you lived here?”

She responded, “As long as I can remember.  I came when I was a little baby.  I am studying very well.  I have many friends.”

I smiled and thanked her. I then thought to myself, that Kousalya was given a chance that every girl—every person in India deserves.  She was rescued and has been cared for, unlike other girls in India, who are murdered as little babies.  She was thriving, unlike other little girls in India who are abandoned or neglected.  She was being educated and cared for, unlike other little girls in India who are seen as a commodity and are trafficked into brothels at such tender ages.

Yes.  She had a home, where they believed it was a “gift of God” to raise her.  A home.  And, seeing the tangible result of the rescue and care for Kousalya reminded me why my wife and I feel like it is “home” too.

While IGP’s partner organization is not the ultimate answer to ending gendercide in India, this organization is acting to save lives of girls, just like Kousalya, one girl at a time.  And, if one girl at a time learns that her life is valuable, just because she is a human being, then the Indian culture can begin to be changed, one child at a time.

Mother Teresa once said, “If I look at the mass I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.”  IGP supports Indian organizations that help save and transform the lives of little girls like Kousalya, one at a time.

The Invisible Girl Project is part of the It’s a Girl action campaign. Please consider donating to them through the It’s a Girl Causes campaign.

DONATE to the INVISIBLE GIRL PROJECT 

Brad McElya and his wife, Jill founded Invisible Girl Project (IGP) in 2009, while living in India.  Now a non-profit organization based in the U.S., IGP is a grassroots organization that supports Indian organizations that rescue vulnerable girls and care for them, transforming their lives, and teaching them their inherent value.  Brad and Jill regularly travel to India to visit IGP’s partners and support their organizational and financial needs.

The views expressed by guest contributors to the “It’s a Girl” blog represent the opinion of the individual author who contributes the content and should not be interpreted as being endorsed or approved by Shadowline Films. We feature these contributions to foster dialogue and exchange on gendercide and invite our readership to join the discussion.

When I first became familiar with the It’s a Girl documentary, a few Qur’anic verses came to mind:

When the sun is wrapped up [in darkness]

And when the stars fall, dispersing

[…] And when the seas are filled with flame

And when the souls are paired with their bodies

And when the female infant [who was] buried alive it is questioned

For what crime she was killed?

…Then every person will know what (deeds) he has brought (of good or evil).[1]

These haunting verses are a reminder that in Islam, God holds humanity accountable for their actions in this world, including the egregious crime of female infanticide.  Here, the Qur’an describes God on the Day of Judgment, championing the innocent, the most vulnerable in society, by enabling her to testify as to how she was unjustly robbed of life.  Where we were when this happened? While it continues to happen today?

On October 6, 2012, Mercy Mission Canada’s Being ME (Muslimah[2] Empowered) held its annual women’s conference, entitled “Divine Liberation,” in Toronto, Canada.[3]  The conference focused on encouraging Muslim women to seek their better selves and obstacles they faced in their journey towards empowerment. Gendercide and gender preference were addressed as the conference hosted a screening and panel discussion of the It’s a Girl documentary to a crowd of over two thousand women of diverse ethnicities, ages and backgrounds.  After the screening, the panelist moderator asked: Was this relevant to the Muslim community? What can Islam offer to combat gendercide?

Islam outlines a comprehensive approach to changing societal attitudes towards raising daughters.  Islam unequivocally condemns female infanticide (and by extension, female feticide as it exists today), completely eradicating the practice prevalent in 6th century Arabia at the time of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.)[4].  As discussed in It’s a Girl, economics is the driving force behind gendercide. God responds, “And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Surely, such a killing is a great sin.”[5]

Islamic doctrine further emphasizes the importance of raising daughters so they feel valued as individuals.  To illustrate, the Qur’an criticizes the attitudes of parents who are disappointed in having female children and raise them accordingly: “When news is brought to one of them, of (the birth of) a female (child), his face darkens and he is filled with inward grief! With shame does he hide himself from his people because of the bad news he has had! Shall he retain her in (sufferance) and contempt, or bury her in the dust?  Unquestionably, evil is what they decide!”[6]

Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.), more than once, discussed the rewards of raising daughters to shift the fundamental social construct in ancient Arabia — words that remain relevant today: “Whosoever has a daughter and does not bury her alive, does not insult/scorn her, and does not favor his/her son over her, God will admit him/her [parent] into Paradise.”[7] In another narration, he stated, “Whomsoever God has given two daughters and is kind towards them will have them as a reason for him/her to be admitted into Paradise.”[8]  Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) also stressed the importance of educating and being affectionate towards children, female and male alike.

Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) did not merely preach kind treatment towards daughters, but lived his life as testament to his words.  Muhammad raised five daughters with love, compassion & respect. In stark contrast to an ancient Arab culture where chauvinistic perceptions of manliness translated to stoicism towards children and contempt for girls, Muhammad’s unquestionable love and adoration for his daughters exemplifies the excellence of his character and consistency of his words.  Whenever his youngest daughter, Fatima, would enter a room, Muhammad would stand up and seat her in his place and they would speak closely to each other in hushed tones.  He once said, “Fatima is a part of me, and whoever saddens her has harmed me.”  Muhammad lost both his sons in infancy, and while he grieved as any parent would, he never once suggested being the father of five girls was a burden or something to be ashamed of.

Condemnation of female infanticide and gender preference and the counter- emphasis on the value of daughters in Islam are themes found throughout the Qur’an and recorded statements and practices of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.).  However, the ideals of Islam do not always translate to reality, and many of the attitudes reflected in the It’s a Girl documentary remain relevant throughout the Muslim world today.

Being a part of humanity means Muslims should care about injustice, no matter where and to whom it happens.   Muhammad stated: “Whomsoever of you sees a evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then hate it in his heart – and that is the weakest of faith.”  This exaltation is not qualified by issue, geography, time, or religion and is only characterized as one thing – working against injustice however it may occur.

As a community, there is need for introspection among Muslims to confront the disparity of treatment between the genders. Muslims are not immune from generations of ingrained cultural norms rife with patriarchy and paternalism where sons receive preferential treatment over daughters, are afforded more opportunities, and daughters are relegated to archaic and stereotypical roles historically suited to females.  As conference organizers, there was across the board consensus that the issue was relevant and touched each of us individually although we all came from ethnic backgrounds spanning the continents. A scan of the conference audience illustrated many attendees had personal experience with gender preference in their own families. Throughout my life, I have witnessed and heard similar threads of the same stories emerge –family members, friends, and their relatives, living in North America and our mother countries, who experienced pressure to have sons, who themselves wished only to sons first, who perceived raising daughters as a drain on family resources, and marital gift inequities.

In Islam, there is no such thing as dowry; there is a mandatory gift (mahr) the husband must give as agreed upon between husband & wife to fulfill the marital contract. The mahr is a measure of good will and given to the wife alone (not her family). However, many South Asian Muslims attach a gift exchange requirement between the bride and groom’s families, and often with the expectation that the bride’s family offer the groom and his family exorbitant gifts. The more eligible, educated, wealthier, and overall the better the personal resume of the groom, the more expensive and the longer the list of demands become upon the bride’s family.  The gifts are to be given not only to the groom, but to his immediate family and extended aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. as well. To place limits or give less than expected are signs of ill will, the bride’s family labeled as miserly, poor, or lower class and family politics ensue. These practices have no place in Islam, and yet they exist and effectively create the same burdens and economic pressures discussed in the It’s a Girl documentary.

It must be said that the above-mentioned is not always the rule and cannot be generalized to apply to all Muslims or South Asians or both.  By the same token, it cannot be ignored that these experiences are recognized and shared by many in our community.

Closer to home, North American Muslims may recognize or experience the effects of gender bias in their own cities.  Not far from where the Being Me conference was held, several hospitals in the Greater Toronto Area (GTA), all located in areas with high concentrations of Asians, refuse to permit sex determination ultrasounds.[9]  In a 2012 Canadian Medical Association Journal (CMAJ) editorial, studies revealed sex selection “at higher parities if previous children were girls among Asians — that is people from India, China, Korea, Vietnam and Philippines.”[10] In other words, Asian families who already had daughters were more likely to have sons as second or third children than was the normal ratio in Canada. Similar studies in the United States have yielded similar results. Concerns may be further exacerbated by the popularity of privately owned ultrasound businesses in Canada that permit individuals to ascertain the fetus’ sex earlier than could be determined from their doctors and more significantly, during the period of elective abortion permitted in Canada.[11]

None of these reports identify the religion of the ethnic groups participating in female feticide so it unclear to what extent, if any, Asian Muslims contribute to in this heinous practice in North America.  More significantly however, is recognizing attitudes in the Muslim community which foster unequal treatment between sons & daughters, however they manifest themselves, and working towards thwarting the elements contributing to gendercide and gender preference.

The Qur’an and Prophet Muhammad’s legacy of social change outlines a blueprint for just and compassionate treatment of daughters and more generally, women for Muslims worldwide. As Muslims, we must also hold ourselves accountable as a community to reflect the Islamic paradigm of social change as illustrated in the Qur’an and life of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.). As members of the global community faced with gendercide, we can do no less than oppose in our hearts, speak out with our voices, and change with our hands.

The contrast with the American presidential election campaign could not

be greater but this week the Chinese Communist Party made its once in a decade transfer of power to a new Politburo of one-party State appointees. President Hu Jintao is expected to hand over the reins of power in March.

Before he leaves office there is one last question which President Hu should address – and which would earn him widespread respect and admiration: it is a brutal and discriminatory policy [the One-Child Policy] which for 32 years has tarnished the reputation of a great country and which has left a trail of misery.

Last month, the United Nations commemorated its International Day of the Girl: highlighting the 100 million girls who are the victims of domestic violence, compulsory veiling, the sex trade, trafficking, bonded labour, forced marriages, genital mutilation, and sexual abuse. In China – and elsewhere – that discrimination begins even before birth, when the three most dangerous and deadly words which can be uttered are the words “It’s a girl”.

Picture 1:  From the It’s a Girl screening at British Parliament  Lord Alton with Reggie Littlejohn, President of Women’s Rights Without Frontiers, Andrew Brown and Evan Grae-Davis

Picture 2: Chinese President Hu Jintao © New York Times

David Alton was a Member of the House of Commons of the British Parliament for 18 years. Today he is Lord Alton of Liverpool, a Catholic member of the British House of Lords where he sits as an Independent. He is Professor of Citizenship at Liverpool John Moores University and author of eight books.

The views expressed by guest contributors to the “It’s a Girl” blog represent the opinion of the individual author who contributes the content and should not be interpreted as being endorsed or approved by Shadowline Films. We feature these contributions to foster dialogue and exchange on gendercide and invite our readership to join the discussion.

As founder of The 50 Million Missing, a campaign on female gendercide in India, I am often asked by individuals if there is anything they can do to make a difference.

And my response is, “Yes, you can! Just be responsible for what YOU say, and what YOU do.”

Let me explain with Maria’s story.

Maria del Nevo who recently passed away in June 2012, was a British woman who in the 90’s had lived and worked in Pakistan.  Her account of her experiences there are included in a selection of letters from various women, published under the title ‘Letters from the Edge.’  However, this is not a story about a westerner encountering a facet of the South Asian culture.  Maria’s story is applicable to anyone who sees themselves as standing on the edge of the female gendercide. Not participating in it, but witnessing the cultural dynamics that propel it, and feeling helpless.  Maria’s story therefore applies equally to Indians (or Pakistanis) who would never demand a dowry or support female infanticide or feticide.   But they would still respond the same way that Maria did if they visited the house Maria did in this story!

While living in Pakistan, Maria was invited for a few days as a house-guest to a friend’s home.  It was a joint family, and Rani, the daughter-in-law, was expecting her first child.  Maria explains that  Rani was very anxious about the sex of her unborn child.  She says, “[Rani] is always frightened her husband won’t come back to her one day. She thinks if she gives him all boys, he is tied to her and she will  gain more respect from him and his family.”

Eventually Rani’s worst fears were realized and she gave birth to a girl.  However, the baby did not survive and the labor took a toll on Rani’s health.  For the next two days, she lay in the hospital bleeding.  Rani’s husband and in-laws however did not visit her for the birth of the child, or upon receiving news of her death and Rani’s critical condition.  Instead the entire family stayed home, and tried to entertain their house-guest Maria by renting Hollywood videos to watch, which they presumed she would enjoy.

Maria however, could hardly watch the videos, and felt extremely uncomfortable with the whole situation.  Even later, when Rani returned home, the family isolated her in a room.  No one talked to her or tried to comfort her, and they also warned Maria to stay away since they believed Rani carried ‘bad luck.’ Maria complied with their wishes, and explains it like this: “Although I thought this strange, I didn’t feel my questioning would be appreciated…I was the family’s guest and I didn’t wish to offend them by blatantly acting against their wishes.”

What Maria felt and did is what most in her situation would do, whether they are visiting westerners, or whether they are Indians, visiting friends and relatives, who perhaps themselves wouldn’t do what Rani’s family did to her.

A majority of people, like Maria, will stay quiet, won’t object, and will do nothing – because they don’t want to offend.

But ask this: Who do they not wish to offend? Rani’s family that is abusive towards her? Or Rani, the victimized woman?

Ask this: Why are we more concerned about hurting the feelings of the more powerful and oppressive party? Why are we not worried about hurting the feelings of the weaker and oppressed party – women like Rani?

Maria struggled with her conscience and realized the hypocrisy of her own reasoning.  She says, “The family’s behavior and superstition made me angry. Rani had no comfort, no love, no husband by her side….”  Rani did not even receive Maria’s comfort and support. Not a hug. Not a kind word. Not even a smile.

So why didn’t Maria make that little gesture towards Rani?  And so what if she did offend Rani’s family by doing that?  The worst thing that could have happened is they would be offended.  They would withdraw their friendship and hospitality.  Is that that a big sacrifice to make?

Maria’s small gesture of compassion may not have changed the course of Rani’s life, but in that moment of darkness, wouldn’t there be just a little respite for her?  Something she would cherish for long?  Isn’t that something that we would each want for ourselves if we were in Rani’s place and everything seemed hopeless?

Maria finally comes to term with her choice.  In her words, in the darkness that was Rani’s life “I had stayed on the side of the majority.”

Please sign the It’s a Girl and 50 Million Missing joint petition on Causes.com for a Global Mandate for Official Action to Stop Female Gendercide in India. 

Rita Banerji an author and gender activist, and the founder of The 50 Million Missing Campaign to end India’s female genocide. Her book ‘Sex and Power: Defining History Shaping Societies,‘ is a historical and social look at how the relationship between gender and power in India has led to the ongoing female gendercide. Her website is www.ritabanerji.com She blogs at Rebellions in my Space and tweets at @Rita_Banerji

The views expressed by guest contributors to the “It’s a Girl” blog represent the opinion of the individual author who contributes the content and should not be interpreted as being endorsed or approved by Shadowline Films. We feature these contributions to foster dialogue and exchange on gendercide and invite our readership to join the discussion.

In China, millions of female conceptions are aborted by prospective parents, creating a problem of ‘missing girls.’ In spite of China’s rapid development, the sex ratio at birth is as high today as it has ever been, with roughly 118 boys born for every 100 girls. A basic question that needs to be answered before real progress can be made is why parents choose to abort daughters.  A glib answer like “because the Chinese prefer sons” is both misleading and insufficient.

One factor is that Chinese parents actually do prefer to have at least one son. Among parents with two sons, the third child in the family is more likely to be female than male – 61% of third children after sons are female, suggesting there are “missing boys”. So to some extent, Chinese parents do value girls and in fact prefer them to sons under certain circumstances – specifically, when their need for having one son has been met.

Another key issue is whether the son preference in China is driven by culture or economics. By culture, I mean the influences that persuade us to behave a certain way without real economic incentives underlying the behavior, like Jews fasting on Yom Kippur or Moslems fasting on Ramadan. Indeed, there are certain Confucian functions that can only be performed by a son, including certain mourning rituals. But this is not the major factor leading millions of parents to abort daughters. What is the major factor is patrilocality, which refers to the firmly-entrenched cultural norm for elderly parents to co-reside with their adult children, and for the son to have a woman “marry in” and assist him in this function. Patrilocality is an economic factor affecting almost every country that participates in sex-selective abortion.

For parents in China, having a son comes with the added bonus that he and his wife will eventually take over the primary responsibilities of elderly care. In a world without social security and with limited ability among individuals to generate financial wealth, this is the primary method of guaranteeing support in one’s old age. It is perhaps no wonder then that parents prefer a daughter after having sons – since they are only going to live with one of the sons, and extra sons become a burden as the parents are forced to purchase land to make these other sons more desirable for marriages. So when international observers are puzzled by the increasing sex ratio at birth in China in spite of economic growth, it is worth taking a closer look and realizing that the incentives driving parents to want sons are getting stronger, not weakening.

As China’s fertility continues to drop and parents have fewer children, the need to have a son to provide for one’s old age becomes even more critical. Chinese government officials have repeated their calls for a ban on sex-selective abortion at the same time that they have declared that rural old age support is the responsibility of one’s family, not the state. Limited social security in rural areas has been associated with a normalization in the sex ratios at birth  for rural areas, therefore a significant amount of work must be done to compensate. Until the need for sons is reduced, policymakers will continue to find themselves in a difficult predicament.

Avraham Ebenstein received his Ph.D. in economics from University of California, Berkeley in 2007. His fields of interest include environmental economics, health economics, and economic demography. Dr. Ebenstein’s past research examined the impact of fertility control policy in China on the sex ratio, and investigated policies that might address the “missing girls” phenomenon in Asia. He also explored linkages between declining fertility and increasing female labor supply in Taiwan and the United States in a comparative study. His current research examines the impact of globalization on labor market outcomes in developed and developing countries.

The views expressed by guest contributors to the “It’s a Girl” blog represent the opinion of the individual author who contributes the content and should not be interpreted as being endorsed or approved by Shadowline Films. We feature these contributions to foster dialogue and exchange on gendercide and invite our readership to join the discussion.